Thursday, June 26, 2008

Navel Gazing

I just got back from a 3-day internal training course about the Agile Project Management Methodology. It was conducted by Rob Thomasett a great trainer, very entertaining, funny, and most of all very effective in getting his message across. I'm privileged to be in his course.

Now I know all those things I've been hearing about - Rap sessions, Deep Dives, etc. And I feel I'm in the club since I've learned the 'secret' messages. LOL! Don't worry they're just silly little signals that are more meant to break the ice than be something sinister.

The course however further reinforced my conviction that project management is not for me. It's more to do with my personality rather than a lack of ability. One of the required qualities of a good project manager is the knack to put together people and get along well with them. Being a people person is what most project management is all about.

The getting along well with people is not a problem but my shyness and inherent insecurity is a hindrance. Furthermore, my verbal communication is not that great. Many people describe me as quiet. You can sit me in one corner with a book or a computer and you do not have to hear me talk one word. Although the very first time I heard someone describe as such I was actually surprised because even though I hardly utter a word there are a lot of things buzzing in my head. In my mind I was constantly chattering (with myself of course) even if hardly anything comes out of my mouth.

So you can see with all these small talk can be excruciating same with breaking the ice with complete strangers. I'm not a very social person but people who gets close to me become friends for life. Am I an introvert? I'm not sure but I know that my shyness is the biggest thing holding me back. I wish I am more sociable, less shy, more talkative and expressive. However, this is the way I am built and I have to accept myself for what I am. I would be a complete hypocrite to behave otherwise. At least I have identified my weaknesses and would try to build on my strengths. That way I can make the most out of life as it is. As Socrates said - "know thyself". I hope I can know more.

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