Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Birthday Jazz and MG Blues

It was my youngest's (J3) 4th birthday last Sunday (7th November) and we had a small dinner party at home. We invited only 2 Pinoy families (neighbors actually) to help us celebrate. J3 was in her elements, she was chatting away on the phone and telling everybody who cared to listen that she's 4 that day. She even sang "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" and "Without You" while accompanied by her Dad on the piano. (OT: the last song was popularised by Harry Nilsson and later by Mariah Carey). I'm glad that she was happy about our modest celebrations. Happy Birthday my little one! You have always brought joy in our lives!

In the food prep front, I was not happy at all with everything I cooked. (Maybe I should blog about this in my food blog.) I completely underestimated the effect of my Myasthenia (MG). I did not realise or completely forgot that I get tired easily nowadays and it has a great effect on my stamina. Not just plain tired but really incredibly tired as in I cannot lift my arms or my lower rib cage ached. I cooked from morning 'til afternoon. Before I had MG, this was a piece of cake, no problem at all. This time I did not expect to get tired so early. By lunchtime I was just pacing myself so I could cook everything needed otherwise it would be a disaster. I hid my exhaustion because I did not want to alarm my husband though I was ready to collapse. Fortunately I was able to hang on enough to finish all of it but I did not like my cooking results at all. The brownies were overbaked, there was too much liver in the caldereta, some of the lumpia was burned, the pinakbet were overcooked, too little sauce in the sweet & sour fish, etc. I couldn't even chat well with our guests because I felt so fatigued. By bedtime I was so dog-tired I couldn't sleep right away. I had to have a back rub from hubby.

At least now I know and acknowledge that I cannot do it all as I used to. I told myself, from now on I will only cook 2 dishes or prepare everything way ahead and just buy or have the rest of the food catered (or harass my friends to cook for me). It is humbling knowing my limitations. I am not a supermum anymore. Hikbi! (Sob!) I am mortal, vulnerable, weak, bound by physical constraints, finite. What a sobering realisation of my frailties. Either I deny and try to fight it or accept, learn to live with it and adapt. I chose the latter. As they say the only constant in this world is change, so I change to suit my needs.

When I am stressed out like this I try to relax by listening to music and one of the things that often comes to mind are the first few lines of this song:

The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy)
(Simon & Garfunkel)

Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin' groovy.

Hello lamppost, What cha knowing?
I've come to watch your flowers growing.
Ain't cha got no rhymes for me?
Doot-in' doo-doo, Feelin' groovy.

Got no deeds to do, No promises to keep.
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep.
Let the morning time drop all its petals on me.
Life, I love you,
All is groovy.

I especially like the line there "Life, I love you". Y'all be groovy, people ...


drstel said...

ya got yourself a little sweetheart...she's very pretty.
Did you make that cake celiak? ba't wala ka sa photo?
ingats, you tried your best and deserved that back rub.
Nek time I'll cook some for you???

Anonymous said...

ate CeliaK,

first of all, belated happy birthday to your daughter J3, may she grow as intelligent, beautiful, witty, tactful and good cook as her supermum (yeah, admit it or not ur still one heaven--not hell--of a supermum hehehehe) is..

looking at you daughter (in the pic) and your waning stamina make me also think how time flies so fast that it changes everything in one sweep. oh boy, i would not want to sound nostalgic but i appreciated more the Peter Paul and Mary version of Feelin Groovy :-)

keep on blogging ateng!


celia kusinera said...

Stel: That cake is store bought. Bigay ng ninang ni J3. Talaga you're going to cook for me? ;)

BongK: I didn't know that PP&M sang that. Are they the original singers or did they just do a cover? Thanks for dropping by, mate.

JMom said...

Happy Birthday to your little one, Celia. She is just adorable!

Ah, the things we do for our kids, huh? Take care of yourself, get some rest.

ting-aling said...

I liked the back rub part and probably the other rub-rubs..here I go again..but isn't that enough reason to pour all your heart into what you're doing?

Anyway, when we first bought our humble abode, man I hosted big ones but it did not take me long to realize that I never enjoyed because I had to think of whether there was enough of this or that.

Now, I only prepare a party for 2 families at most. Say, if it's my birthday, i'd be inviting 2 of my friends. If it was my daughter's, I'd be inviting her preference. I prepare small amounts of dishes but with quality na. Some are pre-cooked a day ahead because they get better if cooked ahead. I shun from pancit, kare-kare, dinuguan. You get to taste them in parties anyway. Also, you get quality time with friends if the size is smaller. I love the tea drinking part because then you get to reminesce or just catch up so I make my desserts enjoyable so my guests will linger.

ting-aling said...

How can I forget to greet J3. Lotsahugsandkisses to her. She looks so adorable..cutie-cutie

Dr. Emer said...

Belated happy happy burthday to your lovely daughter!

An unsolicited advice: when you feel weak, don't hide it. Get enough rest. You are more important. I'm sure your family won't like it if you get sick because of them. MG is a tough disease. Take care always. :)

celia kusinera said...

Jmom: Thanks for the concern. Regards to your cute little ones, too.

TingAling: Ako rin dati buong baranggay iniimbita ko. Nowadays puro close friends na lang. I also noticed the same thing, with lots of guests you tend not to enjoy mixing and entertaining kasi you're so worried about so many things.

DrEmer: I should rest yes - doctor's orders! ;-) Thanks for your concern Doc, I do appreciate that.

rolly said...

Belated happy birthday to your daughter. Maganda siya ha. Mana pihado sa ina.

I didn't know PP&M had a version too. I like the relaxing tune of this song, too.

celia kusinera said...

Hi Tito Rolly, thanks for your greetings. Kamusta na?