Navel Gazing

I just got back from a 3-day internal training course about the Agile Project Management Methodology. It was conducted by Rob Thomasett a great trainer, very entertaining, funny, and most of all very effective in getting his message across. I'm privileged to be in his course.

Now I know all those things I've been hearing about - Rap sessions, Deep Dives, etc. And I feel I'm in the club since I've learned the 'secret' messages. LOL! Don't worry they're just silly little signals that are more meant to break the ice than be something sinister.

The course however further reinforced my conviction that project management is not for me. It's more to do with my personality rather than a lack of ability. One of the required qualities of a good project manager is the knack to put together people and get along well with them. Being a people person is what most project management is all about.

The getting along well with people is not a problem but my shyness and inherent insecurity is a hindrance. Furthermore, my verbal communication is not that great. Many people describe me as quiet. You can sit me in one corner with a book or a computer and you do not have to hear me talk one word. Although the very first time I heard someone describe as such I was actually surprised because even though I hardly utter a word there are a lot of things buzzing in my head. In my mind I was constantly chattering (with myself of course) even if hardly anything comes out of my mouth.

So you can see with all these small talk can be excruciating same with breaking the ice with complete strangers. I'm not a very social person but people who gets close to me become friends for life. Am I an introvert? I'm not sure but I know that my shyness is the biggest thing holding me back. I wish I am more sociable, less shy, more talkative and expressive. However, this is the way I am built and I have to accept myself for what I am. I would be a complete hypocrite to behave otherwise. At least I have identified my weaknesses and would try to build on my strengths. That way I can make the most out of life as it is. As Socrates said - "know thyself". I hope I can know more.

MG Update - June 2008

I forgot to post here the new dosage that my neurologist gave me the last time I saw him on the 6th of June. And by the way, he's seeing me in the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham housed in that big old Victorian building that badly needs renovation.

I'm fairly stable in my MG but feels a bit hypothyroid due to feeling more sluggish than normal. A lot of times feeling as if my mind is in a haze like something is blurring my thinking making it hard for me to concentrate and react mentally slower than usual. He had my blood re-tested for my thyroid levels although I just had them about 2 weeks ago.

The result of that thyroid test 2 weeks ago was evaluated by a GP in my local surgery. She said it is at normal levels so she does not seem to believe me. Anyway she said to call the surgery again when the 2nd thyroid test comes and then we will see if I am really hypothyroid again.

I'm due to see my neurologist again in around 3 months' time.

Current dosages as of 06 June 2008:

Prednisolone - 7.5 mg/10 mg alternate days
Azathioprine - 50 mg x 2 per day
Thyroxine - 50 mcg per day
Metformin - 500 mg per day
Mestinon - 60 mg per day
Alendronic Acid - 70 mg per week